Archive | January, 2013

“A Painful Regret”

27 Jan

I want to share this painful story that I printed and put on my collections way back 2007.

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Regret is a feeling that we carry with ourselves to our graves. It is an intense and immensely painful feeling, especially if it’s a regret about something which we did not do or say to our loved one.

Have you ever been afraid to do something? And regretted after realizing: “I wish I had the courage back then. Maybe I would have been happy now”.

Read this story and be inspired to do something different.

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends. I loved her but I was just too shy, and I don’t know why.

11th grade:

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.

She looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy and I don’t know why.

Senior year:

The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to be well. I don’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine. But she never thought of me like that, and I knew it. Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Graduation Day:

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched, as her perfect body floated like an angel up on the stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks”, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was too shy, and I don’t know why.

A Few Years Later:

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!”. She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral:

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had written in her high school years. This is what it read:

I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!

I wish I did too…. I thought to myself, and I cried.

Disclaimer: I don’t own this blog. I have this on my collections way back 2007. I want to share it to inspire more people. All credit to the owner. Sadly, I was not able to get the name of the owner.

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“The so called….1st Love”

15 Jan

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Love is blind. Love is like a rosary that is full of mysteries. Love is kind and it is not selfish. Love is like a bubble gum that sticks on your heart. These are the common definitions of love when you ask a certain elementary or high school student. Going back to my childhood days, these are some of the answers I read in the slam books or autographs of my classmates to the question: What is love?
And the answer that I have always got is, Love is a loneliness of one, a happiness of two and a problem of three. I got this definition from one of my high school teachers.

As I grew up, I learnt that there is no exact definition of the word love. The only person who can define love is ‘you’. There is no right or wrong answer. And I’ve learnt that as you grow old, you get a deeper meaning of the word love. You start to define it and talk about it according to your experience. And it will all start with the so called First Love.

The First Love

When we fall in love we don’t want that feeling to end. Especially if it is your first love. The feeling is so extreme. You are willing to give everything just to make it work. Sometimes you don’t even want to listen to the people around you. The only thing that matters is your feelings, your love. You are so excited whenever that person is near you. Since your feeling is so intense, you can’t even explain it in words. And you are willing to spend the rest of your life with that person. From a bad mood, that person is the only key to shift you into a good mood. He/She is your everything, your inspiration and your love. You are always happy, especially if that person loves you too. Happy to the extent that you will wish it will be forever.

As the song goes, forever is just a word. There were only few people who met the ‘happy ever after’ with their so called “first love”. Most of us who experienced the bitter sweet taste of our first love moved on and tried to find another love and we cling to the saying “love is sweeter the second time around”. Some people cling with this “If there is a First Love, there is 2nd, 3rd and so on”. Which ever saying you cling on to just to move on after the failure of your first love, one thing is for sure, that saying makes you stronger and helps you to find another love. Let me share with you what statement stuck in my heart during my 1st heart break.

“There he goes, my so called 1st love, he will always be special in my heart but someday, somehow, someone will find me and I will always save my last love for that deserving man who is better than my 1st love”.

Getting Over

It took me almost 4-5 years to get over with my 1st love. I tried my best to forget as fast as I could, but I couldn’t force my heart to do so. And from there, I discovered that the only cure to a broken heart is another love. Yes, I fell in love again and that was the time that I realized, I was over him. Though they say that “1st love never dies”, time will come that you will get over him/her, but in your heart he will always be there. Only a memory from the past, who made you happy during those times.

In my experience, my 1st love and I acted so matured about the past. We are still friends. I never hated him nor avoided him. After all that we’ve been through, of all the happiness, memories and heart aches, he will always be my so called…. first love and I will always be the BEST GIRL that he never had.

CERTIFIED!!! :-) Naiah Donna Laxa’s pro

11 Jan

CERTIFIED!!! 🙂
Naiah Donna Laxa’s profile at HootSuite University http://ow.ly/gItlU

My Dream Board (a painted picture of mine)

8 Jan

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What is a dream?

A dream is a story that you create to express your unconscious self. Although your unconscious is an area of your self that you are often unaware of, it drives most of your waking actions and needs. However as a rational human being, you tend to consciously filter out that wider awareness and usually only experience it when you dream.

Even though a dream just appears to be something that happens to you, it is an experience that you actually construct yourself by using your own creativity and ingenuity. From the sunlight glinting on a distant window to the bubbles rising in the champagne flute you are holding, you generate an entire world that vividly reflects who you are, where you want to go in life and how you can get there.

By becoming more aware of your dreams and how they express your unconscious awareness, you can bring them into the reality of your waking life and begin to live your dreams, rather than constantly searching for them. Dreaming is the most natural and powerful way for you to connect with your true purpose and potential. (Ian Wallace)

A dream is a picture in your head that appears when you’re sleeping. Usually whatever you dream about is related some way to your life and something that has happened or is going to happen, it can show you your feeling about certain things. (Wiki)

“Can you define your dream for your life? If not, now’s the time. The first step in going after a dream is knowing what you want. What is it that you envision yourself doing with your life? What’s that passion that makes you jump out of your skin with excitement and makes you feel whole when you are doing it? What is that giant goal for your life that you keep tucked away and strive for?” (chasing the dreams) I saw these post on the internet and I begun to wonder and created my own.

A Painted Picture of Mine

I start opening my eyes, thinking where am I? Oh! The bed is so soft. Those paintings on the wall, I know they are expensive just upon looking at them. And the room! Yes the room is so spacious! Slowly, I turn my head on the left side, there he is! The most handsome man I’ve seen in the whole world, my husband. Slowly he opens his eyes and says “good morning baby” and kiss me quickly before I utter my response. Then I flash my sweetest smile.

Oh! Yes I’m very contented and happy with my life at 27. I’m married with the most loving man in the world. He runs his own business. He can easily make out a deal with his clients. He is very responsible and caring. And I know he will be a good father. Yes, we are planning to have our first baby next year. And when that time comes, he wants me to rest and focus with our baby while he is still on my womb. He said that our baby is a baby boy and he is very positive with that. I can’t help but smile whenever we are talking about this, well I want a baby boy as well, and I’m always being carried away by him being an optimistic.

He wants me to rest for a while from my own business. I own bookstores and as of this moment I’m on the process of opening my 4th branch. I know it will be a success just like the first 3. I always dream of this, me having my own bookstores. I love reading and collecting books. And I know from then that in the future I will be having my own business in line with this. And positive as ever, here I am running my own bookstores.

I get up and open the French door and from the veranda I can see everything. Our swimming pool and 3 model cars in the garage. The Lamborghini was my husband’s present on my last birthday. The Mercedes Benz is my husband’s car and I have my own BMW ever since I started doing my business.

Everything is fine and I’m doing well. Monday to Friday is our day of work but Saturday and Sunday we are very strict about this, that this is our family day. Saturday is our bonding time. And we have to visit our parents every Sunday. Maybe we will make some adjustments once our 1st born is already here.

We will be going to Paris next week and I am so exited. It will be my first time there and I really want to see the Eiffel Tower. I will be taking my 1 week vacation. And I can’t wait till next week. Most of the time I am so overwhelm of what I have now and how happy I am, it’s just so much that I want to cry, as in tears of joy. These is just all dream before and now they are all real.