“The so called….1st Love”

15 Jan

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Love is blind. Love is like a rosary that is full of mysteries. Love is kind and it is not selfish. Love is like a bubble gum that sticks on your heart. These are the common definitions of love when you ask a certain elementary or high school student. Going back to my childhood days, these are some of the answers I read in the slam books or autographs of my classmates to the question: What is love?
And the answer that I have always got is, Love is a loneliness of one, a happiness of two and a problem of three. I got this definition from one of my high school teachers.

As I grew up, I learnt that there is no exact definition of the word love. The only person who can define love is ‘you’. There is no right or wrong answer. And I’ve learnt that as you grow old, you get a deeper meaning of the word love. You start to define it and talk about it according to your experience. And it will all start with the so called First Love.

The First Love

When we fall in love we don’t want that feeling to end. Especially if it is your first love. The feeling is so extreme. You are willing to give everything just to make it work. Sometimes you don’t even want to listen to the people around you. The only thing that matters is your feelings, your love. You are so excited whenever that person is near you. Since your feeling is so intense, you can’t even explain it in words. And you are willing to spend the rest of your life with that person. From a bad mood, that person is the only key to shift you into a good mood. He/She is your everything, your inspiration and your love. You are always happy, especially if that person loves you too. Happy to the extent that you will wish it will be forever.

As the song goes, forever is just a word. There were only few people who met the ‘happy ever after’ with their so called “first love”. Most of us who experienced the bitter sweet taste of our first love moved on and tried to find another love and we cling to the saying “love is sweeter the second time around”. Some people cling with this “If there is a First Love, there is 2nd, 3rd and so on”. Which ever saying you cling on to just to move on after the failure of your first love, one thing is for sure, that saying makes you stronger and helps you to find another love. Let me share with you what statement stuck in my heart during my 1st heart break.

“There he goes, my so called 1st love, he will always be special in my heart but someday, somehow, someone will find me and I will always save my last love for that deserving man who is better than my 1st love”.

Getting Over

It took me almost 4-5 years to get over with my 1st love. I tried my best to forget as fast as I could, but I couldn’t force my heart to do so. And from there, I discovered that the only cure to a broken heart is another love. Yes, I fell in love again and that was the time that I realized, I was over him. Though they say that “1st love never dies”, time will come that you will get over him/her, but in your heart he will always be there. Only a memory from the past, who made you happy during those times.

In my experience, my 1st love and I acted so matured about the past. We are still friends. I never hated him nor avoided him. After all that we’ve been through, of all the happiness, memories and heart aches, he will always be my so called…. first love and I will always be the BEST GIRL that he never had.

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