Tag Archives: Heart Aches

“Loving is such a beautiful thing”

22 Feb

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“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love”.

1 Corinthians 13:13, a beautiful bible verse and one of my inspirations why I will always and forever believe in “Love”.

Yes, always and forever believe in “love”, no matter how painful it can get most of the time. Just move forward and believe in “love”, no matter how many heart aches you’ve received. Just live and believe in “love”, no matter how many failed relationships you’ve been through.

This is me saying, Loving is such a beautiful thing. Despite of the sorrow and pain, you were once happy, excited, inspired, motivated – you were once in love.

Pain, sorrow and failure, we all experience this in life. But this does not mean you will stop believing in love. But rather you should use this for you to be a better person when you meet “The One”.

For every ending, there is always a new beginning. For every heart ache, there will always be a beautiful love story waiting for you. Believe in the power of love, for love never runs out of time. Believe in every happy ending. If you are still in pain because of Love, then it is not the end yet. One day you will be amazed that the only cure for a broken heart, is “Love”.

For all the people who do not believe in “Love” anymore, for those ladies and gentlemen whose hearts have been broken, for those people who are still in pain and for all the people who’ve been part of failed relationships – Live!Just Live! Move forward! Move on! Be happy and always choose to love because loving is such a beautiful thing!

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Maybe…Just maybe…..

19 Feb

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Have you ever felt uncertain in your life? That feeling when you are so sure of everything then suddenly one day…you don’t know what you feel and everything becomes vague?

It was 2007…. Yes it was 11 years ago. I met this guy – tall, mestizo, and yes I must admit, he was handsome. I was on the process of moving on from my bitter sweet so called “1st love”. I must admit that at first, I was thinking that he will be my way out to ease the pain. We kept texting each other, talking about everything and getting to know each other. We usually went out together, watching movies in cinema, eating lunch or dinner and playing in arcades. Yes, I was having fun with him. He helped me move on, somehow… or maybe I just thought…

I was a service crew in Jollibee during that time. The way he waited for me and the way he asked me out. The way he visited my house, I knew that he deserved my “Yes”. We were young but I knew we were happy and so in love… or maybe I just thought….

He said that I am his lucky charm, because the time I said yes, he got the result for his South Korea job and he passed. He was so happy, and of course as his girl, I was so happy for him as well… or maybe I just thought…

Time flies so fast. Here I was, with his family at NAIA terminal 1. Sending my goodbye to my 1st boyfriend. Every monthsaries, I usually wrote a letter for him, so that when he gets back he can read them. He always called me just to make sure we were okay. As we went along, we were able to fight this what they called Long Distance Relationship (LDR)…. or maybe I just thought….

After few months, I don’t know what went wrong, but I broke up with him over the phone. Yes, it was my fault. It was my decision. The beautiful relationship that I dreamt of, was suddenly gone. The only thing that reminds me of him, are his pictures together with a love letter from Korea and my 6 pending letters for our monthsaries. I chose to keep them and go on with my life.

We lost communication………

After 2 years, he found me on Facebook…. We are okay, we are friends, he never blamed me. Well, there are times that he is teasing me and I feel that he is into me but I always disregard the thoughts and take him for granted. There are times that he will say ‘hi’ and ask me ‘how am I doing’ and I simply reply on his messages. We never had the chance to meet again, or maybe we are just contented with chatting each other, though the chat messages are just once in a blue-moon.

For all those times that he might be into me, or for all the times that I thought we will be back together, I don’t know but I think the timing was never perfect. I have a boyfriend and he does not have a girlfriend. I don’t have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend. But maybe there was this one time that I thought it was the perfect time for us. It was 2013, I was single and he was single too. No commitments at all. He was teasing me and sending me sweet nothings but I don’t know if he was serious or what. I never asked. Then someone came along to pursue me and put some efforts. So I disregarded the thought of being back together with my “1st boyfriend”, and I fell in love.

3 years and 4 months I’ve been in a relationship. He still says “hi” sometimes. We are still friends and we are okay. I broke up with my boyfriend because of some issues. I felt so numb of everything. But out of this numbness, he is there, checking on me, chatting with me, asking me and talking to me. I started to feel differently. I’m still confuse because I just came from a failed relationship. Am I seeing him as a way out again? But for the past 8 months. I was able to clear things up. Or maybe I just thought……

Only God knows how I tried to avoid him. I really did because of this strange feelings I have. I know what is right and I don’t need to go there… I know… Or maybe I just thought…

I don’t know how to explain it but he is always on my mind. I’m always waiting for his messages. I got mad whenever he is not chatting me. I don’t know if I’m just seeking for an attention but I was able to clear things up, that….that… there was a part on my heart that was revived! That my feelings for him is now coming back. Then suddenly I got scared. I got scared because I know this time is not the perfect time. Because he belongs to someone else now….. He has a girlfriend now… And here I am stuck between fight for him or let him go…

It is not easy to decide when your heart and mind are arguing. I know we have to make sure as well. For 11 years we are not seeing each other. We need to see each other but after that what? Will I be happy if he will choose me? Knowing that we hurt someone? Am I ready for another pain? Or maybe…. just maybe… I’m ready to let him go….

If I will be true enough to myself, If given a chance… I want him to be my last… He was my first… And after 11 years, I’ve realized that if we deserve this “second chance”, then I want him to be my past, my present and my future…If I could just turn back the time… I don’t know why after 11 years I’m feeling this way. I know it is not right. You belong to someone else now… but here in my heart… I’m still hoping that we will have a second chance… I’m still hoping that maybe…just maybe… after all… we are meant to be….

“A Painful Regret”

27 Jan

I want to share this painful story that I printed and put on my collections way back 2007.

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Regret is a feeling that we carry with ourselves to our graves. It is an intense and immensely painful feeling, especially if it’s a regret about something which we did not do or say to our loved one.

Have you ever been afraid to do something? And regretted after realizing: “I wish I had the courage back then. Maybe I would have been happy now”.

Read this story and be inspired to do something different.

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called “best friend”. I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it.

After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends. I loved her but I was just too shy, and I don’t know why.

11th grade:

The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep.

She looked at me, said “thanks” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy and I don’t know why.

Senior year:

The day before prom she walked to my locker. “My date is sick” she said; he’s not going to be well. I don’t have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as “best friends”. So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine. But she never thought of me like that, and I knew it. Then she said “I had the best time, thanks!” and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Graduation Day:

A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched, as her perfect body floated like an angel up on the stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, “you’re my best friend, thanks”, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was too shy, and I don’t know why.

A Few Years Later:

Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say “I do” and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said “you came!”. She said “thanks” and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I don’t know why.

Funeral:

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my “best friend”. At the service, they read a diary entry she had written in her high school years. This is what it read:

I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn’t notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don’t want to be just friends, I love him but I’m just too shy, and I don’t know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!

I wish I did too…. I thought to myself, and I cried.

Disclaimer: I don’t own this blog. I have this on my collections way back 2007. I want to share it to inspire more people. All credit to the owner. Sadly, I was not able to get the name of the owner.